The Child’s Experience of the Parental Separation

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

In the throes and aftermath of a separation, emotions run high and parents can inadvertently spill out onto their kids without realizing their impact upon them. In the anguish and/or anger and/or even elation of the parent, the child can be an unintended victim intense feelings. Out of a parent’s intense feelings, the parent can say or do things that unwittingly create emotional harm for the children. The parent may minimize their thinking about the degree of impact upon the child or may convince themselves that the child is aligned with their feelings. However, there is a huge divide between the parent’s behavior and beliefs about their impact on the child and the child’s actual experience.

Here are some examples:

Parental belief and behavior:

My partner was barley around an didn’t have much to do with the kids, so either my partner doesn’t deserve to see them or limiting my…

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Author: Allick Delancy

WE ALL HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO DO GREAT THINGS IN LIFE! The areas of education, psychology, motivation, behavioural coaching, management of stress, anger and conflict, has always interested Allick Delancy. For this reason, over the years he has conducted research in these fields and has experienced great success in writing, lecturing and assisting other persons to develop their fullest potentials. He has obtained a Bachelors of Science in Behavioural Sciences with an emphasis in Psychology and Sociology. Allick Delancy also earned a Masters of Arts degree in Educational Psychology, with general emphasis in Learning, Development, Testing and Research from Andrews University. He has worked in the field of community mediation, education--conducting life skills training (for students, teachers and parents), as well as conducting Functional Behavioural Assessments and developing Functional Behavioural Plans. He also lectures at the Bachelors degree level in Early Childhood and Family Studies, Leadership and Management and co-wrote an undergraduate course in social work.

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