How to Impress Anyone in 30 Seconds or Less

Few things in life will help you more than knowing how to make an immediate great impression. Make note of these impressive habits.

Some experts estimate that 85 percent of your financial success comes not from your skills or knowledge but from your ability to connect with other people and engender their trust and respect.

Within seconds, everyone you meet forms an impression that largely determines whether they’ll like, trust, and respect you.

Whether you’re job-hunting or fundraising or leading an organization, making a good impression is absolutely critical. (No pressure, right?)

So whether you are looking to raise money for your company, or you are managing your team or leading your business, connecting to people and making a great impression is very important.

Here are some tips to help you win hearts and minds in 30 seconds:

Neutralize the fight-or-flight response.

The first few seconds of a first encounter are driven by instinctive reactions. Each person makes unconscious immediate appraisals that center around how safe they feel. Be mindful of your immediate signals, and make sure they could never be perceived as threatening.

Respect boundaries.

Be mindful of personal space and respect the boundaries of others. If in doubt, follow the other person’s cues: if they lean in, you lean in; if they stand back, you do the same. Remember that concepts of appropriate personal space vary by culture.

Feed expectations.

In business, first impressions are frequently colored by expectations. We expect people to live up to the image we have created in our minds from their reputation, phone calls, emails, or texts. We expect consistency with that general image — and without it, we feel some degree of disappointment and confusion. It’s not the time to surprise others with a new side of your personality.

Be mindful of body language.

It accounts for more than half of what others respond to initially — so it literally does speak louder than words. Hold yourself in a way that signals attention and an open heart, and keep a facial expression that combines authority with approachability and eye contact.

Stay positive.

The language of the brain is pictures, sounds, feelings, and to a lesser extent, smells and tastes. It’s much more difficult to translate negatives into brain-friendly imagery than positives. Work to develop a positive explanatory style.

Keep control of your attitude.

The general energy you give off is one of the first unconscious things people respond to. If you’re frazzled, project calm. If you’re distracted and unenthusiastic, project positivity. (You’ll not only make a better impression, but you can influence your own mood.)

Manage your moods.

People are drawn to warmth, enthusiasm, and confidence more than anger, arrogance, and impatience. Whatever is going on around you, manage your responses to get the best response from others.

Synchronize.

Make sure your words, your tone of voice, and your body language are all saying the same thing. Mixed messages put off others, but consistency gives you clarity and credibility.

Use sensory language.

Activate people’s senses, and mix up your imagery to make sure you hit their strength. Whenever possible, use descriptions of visual images, sounds, textures, motion, and feelings to add meaning to what you’re saying.

Be curious, open-minded, and interested.

If you can get the other person talking and keep them talking, odds are they’ll be drawn to you. Be interested and open-minded; ask questions that spark their imagination and ignite conversation.

Dress for success.

Find a personal style that represents who you are and the message you want to send about yourself. Look at your dress and appearance as packaging a product.

Have a personal statement.

Have a personal statement prepared and memorized so you can tell others concisely and eloquently what you do, what it means to you, and why it makes a difference. Think of it not as a sales pitch but an engaging and artfully crafted mini-presentation.

Work through these points and you should have a great first impression all lined up.

One final tip as you get out there:

Treat every connection you make as if it’s the most important thing you’ve ever done. Because, frankly, you never know when it actually will be.

 

Original article: http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/learn-how-to-impress-anyone-in-30-seconds-or-less.html?cid=sf01001

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The Scientific 4-Step Process to Become World-Class at Anything

By Benjamin P. Hardy

If you want to become world-class at what you do, you must get to the point where it becomes unconscious and automatic.
IMAGE: Getty Images

Learning new things engages your prefrontal cortex, which operates via your working (i.e., short-term) memory. Your working memory is used for conscious decision-making and planning, directed at the attainment of your goals.

However, once you automatize a skill, it becomes subconscious; and thus, you free up by 90 percent your working memory, which allows higher-level functioning. For example, you can drive for minutes at a time without even thinking about driving.

In the context of learning and performance, automaticity allows you to apply and deepen your learning in novel and enhanced ways. Developing automaticity is the process of going from doing to being–empowering you to become an expert and innovator.

As Josh Waitzkin, author of The Art of Learning, has said, “Just as the yin-yang symbol possesses a kernel of light in the dark, and of dark in the light, creative leaps are grounded in a technical foundation.”

Here’s how it works.

1. Repetition!

Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. –Earl Nightingale

The first step toward automaticity is repetitiously learning small sets or bits of information. If you’re learning a new language, it’s repeatedly hammering the same word types and roots. If you’re golfing, it’s practicing the same shot over and over.

However, automaticity goes beyond the initial point of mastery, to what has been called overlearning. To overlearn, you continue practicing and honing long after you know something inside-out.

Becoming grounded and proficient in the left-brained technical rules and skills frees up your right brain to creatively break or manipulate the rules.  As the Dali Lama has said, “Learn the rules well so you know how to break them properly.”

2. Find your zone and stay there as long as you can.

“The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat.”―Richard Marcinko

The second step toward automaticity is making the practice or training progressively harder. If you’re at the gym, increase the weight and intensity. If you’re giving a speech, include elements outside your comfort zone.

The goal is making the task increasingly difficult until it’s too hard. Then you drop the difficulty back down slightly to stay near the zone or threshold of your current ability.

3. Add a time constraint.

The third step toward automaticity is making the training more difficult while adding a time restraint. Do the same activity (e.g., writing an article), but give yourself a shortened timeline to do it in. Your focus should be process, not outcome on this. Quality over quantity.

Adding a timeline forces you to work faster while at the same time it requires you to think about the time, which loads up your working memory (think Chopped on Food Network).

4. Load up your working memory with purposeful distractions.

“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity”–Sun Tzu

The final step toward automaticity is working/training with an increasing memory load. In other words, doing the task with greater levels of distraction. Math teachers leverage this strategy by having students learning an obscure fact and having them recall it immediately after completing a math problem.

Eventually, you can perform the activity in a flowlike state, where the external distractions and pressures no longer influence your unconscious ability to act.

Conclusion

Watching our 8-year-old foster son learn how to read is teaching me a lot about the development of automaticity. For months, he did everything he could to avoid reading. Yet, we were persistent in working with him.

Eventually, he developed confidence himself and began to see the utility of reading, and his motivation shifted from extrinsic to intrinsic. Now we have a difficult time stopping him from reading.

If you want to become world-class at what you do, you must get to the point where it becomes unconscious and automatic. Once you get to this level, you’ll be able to innovate and make your craft your own, because you’ll be operating at a higher frequency.

Original Post: http://www.inc.com/benjamin-p-hardy/the-scientific-4-step-process-to-become-world-class-at-anything.html

Uncomfortable sacrifices

Finding solutions to problems are not always easy.  In the process of digging and searching for answers you will learn.  You will learn about what it takes to chase after a passion or path to your goals.  You will become better.

To become better at what you are doing or intend to do, you will have to make some uncomfortable sacrifices.   Rest assured that whatever pain you are going through, it will not last forever.  The pain will one day go away.  This is all part of the process of making you a stronger individual at the end.  This idea reminds me of a body builder I saw training.  The stretching and compressing of muscles; breaking down muscle fibres has a purpose to it.  The athletes do this, with the ultimate goal of making their muscles bigger and stronger.

Now, that is an uncomfortable sacrifice the athletes put themselves through.  I said uncomfortable sacrifices and not just sacrifices.

Why?

This is so, as some persons may be able to make a sacrifice, to do without something or to go for long periods of time without being involved with something they like.

Why is this so?

Because they can simply do without.  They can go through an experience with little to no stress on themselves as such, what they sacrificed, they did not really need for their survival.  And so, not really benefitting from the process.  It is as though what they gave was out of their surplus, and not from a need to become greater or to expand themselves.  What they did took little energy.

Why?

Because they had that surplus energy anyway.

Or possibly it was time they sacrificed.  But that was not uncomfortable for them, because time is not an issue, they had time.  For them, they were going to use time on something anyway and it just happened to be this activity.

For you to grow to your fullest capacity, there are times that your sacrifices will be uncomfortable.

 

NOTE: It should be noted that each person must evaluate their actions and see what is in the best interest for themselves and the people who depend on them.  It will therefore be unwise to give up time and energy on a pursuit, that in the end will rob you of having good family relations, be endangering to your physical and mental health, and for some, moral wellbeing.

PREPARING FOR ACTION

Preparing for action, to do anything that was not done before can feel like you are lifting a heavy load.  Think of any journey a person takes.

It can be one that a marathon runner takes or a trail a hiker is on.  Every single one of these people started off at a single point.

I remembered when I was attending primary school.  I could have been about seven or eight.  I had to walk to school some of the times.  My challenge was that, not that I hated walking, but I perceived the distance the school was to be too great and so, mentally I felt like it was too much a challenge.

So what did I do?

Each time I had to walk to school, will looked just about twenty feet in front of me at an object, keeping my eyes fixed on it, and certainly remembering to keep on the sidewalk.  As the object came about five feet in front of me, I will then chose another object about twenty feet into the distance.  And so it went until the final object I chose to fix my eyes on was the school.

So at the onset of looking at the various six habits, I want you to be aware that at the onset it will appear to be as gigantic steps you are making. Nonetheless I do encourage you to practice these until you have mastered all six.

For me, when I started looking at these six habits years ago, learning and applying them did not seem natural at first, at least some of them.  But I remembered each time I worked on one of them, the feeling I received.  It was the same as if I was casting my eyes on the objects along the way to school.

Eventually, when these six habits started to become part of me, it was as if they became automatic responses in my life.  For this reason I want you to challenge yourself to work on these:

  • Use the questions as a guide for your reflection. As you come to various conclusion and discoveries in your live, I want you to take note of them in a personal journal.  It is vital that your journal be at hand when reading this book and also have a pen too.

 

Feel free to also use your phone or tablet or other electronic devices for journaling your response to the questions in each activity or thought or idea that comes to you. It is of great value, when you can look back at what you wrote or thoughts you had at the time and muse over its meaning.

I know for myself, as thoughts come to me I have to write them down. While I trust my mine, and my ability to recall, sometimes with the flow of information coming to me it is not always easy to keep everything to the forefront of my mine. So I do encourage you to always have on hand that small pocket diary or electronic device to transfer thoughts or ideas as they come to you.

This will help you to become a reflective practitioner. This in turn will allow you the opportunity to put into practice what is understood to be of value to you.

  • Develop an overpowering voice. It is important that we understand ourselves. Who we are as a person, our likes and dislikes or preferences. In order to experience change it is important to develop an inherent voice spurring us on. Reminding us of the importance of a particular task or activity which can contribute to our goal.

 

This voice can be viewed as a quality or characteristic that acts as a gauge for us to know what is acceptable and what is not.

This trait, allows us to view persons and situations as opportunities and learning experiences.  And this is in spite of the situation being a positive or a negative one.

For learning to take place, sometimes it matters not if the experiences are happening to us or if we saw it happening to someone else.

What we can draw from all experiences, is what matters. This will assist us to know where we stand on a particular matter of our view of a particular event. These views or stands will help us to shape our thinking. Thinking, which would be projected in our personality and our behaviors. As such, we develop a voice in our heads as to how we ought to behave in order to receive a certain result.

  • Know you have a choice. As you prepare for action to make the changes in your life, and to develop habits which can promote your success, know that you have made this choice to change. Not only knowing or understanding this, especially when times get rough, but knowing that you made a deliberate effort to become better.

 

Knowing that it is your decision too, will assist you to safeguard your emotion should you perceive that you are the only one on this part the self-development. Additionally, knowing that you have taken an initiative to go after a dream, should also be a driving force for you. This means that you are capable of starting something. This means that you have looked at your life, made an evaluation and determined that what you are experiencing was not good enough. As such, you had to make a transformation or personal growth.

So by preparing for action, know that you have it within you to make a difference in your life and in the lives of others. Reading this book for instance is an indication that you have already started on the road to transforming yourself.

  • Examine your current beliefs. It is always a good idea to look at what your present understanding or beliefs are when it comes to success. This will help you to evaluate what you think to be possible as well as help you to have a clear view of your true talents, potential, or willingness to work towards achieving this particular goal.

 

Some persons may want to achieve in the area of small business, art and craft, or maybe in the area of athletics but even before starting their current beliefs already predisposes them to fail.

This failure would then bring frustration which in turn may affect their self-esteem.

As such, there are some individuals who would not even try again at what they may have had a passion for at first. So this calls for some self reflection. Look at what you deem to be true about yourself, not based on what others may believe, but at what you are actually able to do.

It is true that in some instances it is only by doing something we’re capable of recognizing our true potential. Know that our belief systems can affect emotions and our physical. And these in turn our thoughts; if they are positive can fuel us with enthusiasm. If they are negative on the other hand we can feel stressed and wanting to give up, especially when at times get tough.

  • Protect your time to work on you. In preparing to take any action either great or small, that will require time.

 

There many individuals who, at the beginning of the year or some. In their life may create great plans for themselves. And this is encouraged. For plans can get us from where we are to where we want to be. But the thing is, and this is very vital, we must see that to become better at anything, be it parenting, painting, being a better husband or wife, time is needed.

We need to make the time to work on ourselves or our craft. It is important that we experiment with time periods during the day that we would be more effective. At these time periods we want to work when our energy levels are at the highest, and when there are fewer distractions. Therefore, this is the reason why you need to protect the time for you to work on you.

Now, I am not saying that you should be so rigid, that if your child or family member for sick and needs to go to the hospital, but this is the time you carve out for yourself then you neglect them. No! This is not what I am saying at all. But we need to respect that it is only because of time, that we are able to put forth efforts and energies on practicing the thing that pushes us closer to our goal.

The 5 Essential Qualities of a Great Leader

By Peter Economy

The best leaders exhibit certain traits that make them hugely successful. Embrace these qualities and be a great leader, too.

CREDIT: Getty Images

Being a good leader isn’t easy. While a leader’s actions may be scrutinized when things are going bad, it is their leadership qualities that shine through the worst of times. It is these same qualities that employees look up to, respect, and work very hard for. This is why it is so important for every leader to work hard to gain the qualities of great leadership.

The best leaders exhibit certain qualities that make them hugely successful. Here are 5 attributes of some of today’s truly great leaders.

1. Clarity

They are clear and concise at all times–there is no question of their vision and what needs to be accomplished. This gives others the opportunity to digest their goals and decide whether or not they will support their cause. Generally, very few people know what they want, much less how to get there, so they will gravitate towards those who appear to have a clear picture in mind–good clarity leads to great achievement.

2. Decisiveness

Once they have made up their mind, they don’t hesitate to commit–it’s all hands on deck. They show great consistency with their decisions, rarely backing out or changing their minds unless it is absolutely necessary. Being decisive shows commitment, a quality very high in demand for a great leader.

3. Courage

Boldness is both something you can develop and something that is blessed as a virtue. Although some people are naturally more fearless than others, practicing how to be fearless–or at least project fearlessness–is a completely doable task, one many have achieved in order to fulfill their role as an amazing leader.

4. Passion

There’s nothing more inspirational than seeing someone who cares about what they do–the best leaders exhibit boundless energy and passion for what they do. Don’t be shy about your passion for whatever it is you are leading, be it a book reading or a laboratory experiment. As long as you are passionate about what you know, or care about, it’ll shine through and people will follow.

5. Humility

While confidence is a very attractive trait in leaders, there’s nothing like a humble character for creating a lovable persona. Great leaders admit when they are wrong and take criticism as an opportunity for growth. Show the world how grateful you are to be where you are. This, in turn, will demonstrate how much you deserve the leadership role.

Click here:

http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/the-5-essential-qualities-of-a-great-leader.html

The Scientific 4-Step Process to Become World-Class at Anything

By Benjamin P. Hardy

If you want to become world-class at what you do, you must get to the point where it becomes unconscious and automatic.
IMAGE: Getty Images

Learning new things engages your prefrontal cortex, which operates via your working (i.e., short-term) memory. Your working memory is used for conscious decision-making and planning, directed at the attainment of your goals.

However, once you automatize a skill, it becomes subconscious; and thus, you free up by 90 percent your working memory, which allows higher-level functioning. For example, you can drive for minutes at a time without even thinking about driving.

In the context of learning and performance, automaticity allows you to apply and deepen your learning in novel and enhanced ways. Developing automaticity is the process of going from doing to being–empowering you to become an expert and innovator.

As Josh Waitzkin, author of The Art of Learning, has said, “Just as the yin-yang symbol possesses a kernel of light in the dark, and of dark in the light, creative leaps are grounded in a technical foundation.”

Here’s how it works.

1. Repetition!

Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality. –Earl Nightingale

The first step toward automaticity is repetitiously learning small sets or bits of information. If you’re learning a new language, it’s repeatedly hammering the same word types and roots. If you’re golfing, it’s practicing the same shot over and over.

However, automaticity goes beyond the initial point of mastery, to what has been called overlearning. To overlearn, you continue practicing and honing long after you know something inside-out.

Becoming grounded and proficient in the left-brained technical rules and skills frees up your right brain to creatively break or manipulate the rules.  As the Dali Lama has said, “Learn the rules well so you know how to break them properly.”

2. Find your zone and stay there as long as you can.

“The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat.”―Richard Marcinko

The second step toward automaticity is making the practice or training progressively harder. If you’re at the gym, increase the weight and intensity. If you’re giving a speech, include elements outside your comfort zone.

The goal is making the task increasingly difficult until it’s too hard. Then you drop the difficulty back down slightly to stay near the zone or threshold of your current ability.

3. Add a time constraint.

The third step toward automaticity is making the training more difficult while adding a time restraint. Do the same activity (e.g., writing an article), but give yourself a shortened timeline to do it in. Your focus should be process, not outcome on this. Quality over quantity.

Adding a timeline forces you to work faster while at the same time it requires you to think about the time, which loads up your working memory (think Chopped on Food Network).

4. Load up your working memory with purposeful distractions.

“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity”–Sun Tzu

The final step toward automaticity is working/training with an increasing memory load. In other words, doing the task with greater levels of distraction. Math teachers leverage this strategy by having students learning an obscure fact and having them recall it immediately after completing a math problem.

Eventually, you can perform the activity in a flowlike state, where the external distractions and pressures no longer influence your unconscious ability to act.

Conclusion

Watching our 8-year-old foster son learn how to read is teaching me a lot about the development of automaticity. For months, he did everything he could to avoid reading. Yet, we were persistent in working with him.

Eventually, he developed confidence himself and began to see the utility of reading, and his motivation shifted from extrinsic to intrinsic. Now we have a difficult time stopping him from reading.

If you want to become world-class at what you do, you must get to the point where it becomes unconscious and automatic. Once you get to this level, you’ll be able to innovate and make your craft your own, because you’ll be operating at a higher frequency.

Original Post: http://www.inc.com/benjamin-p-hardy/the-scientific-4-step-process-to-become-world-class-at-anything.html

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