Anxiety Is Good For My Heart, That’s Why I Am Dying.

If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times. ~Dean Smith

Anxiety is ever present. And this is not just in the world outside of us, but it is ever present in our individual lives. How can we deal with extreme stress or the constant worry that pervade our lives?

Anxieties are real. Sometimes well meaning people may say to us, “Snap out of it. What’s wrong with you, you are bigger than that situation.” Or, “Why are you allowing that little thing to stress you out?” At times, just saying this may be all that is needed to get us out of that state; and a change in thought patter. There is the occasion though when we need a bit more than that.

Anxiety has its tentacles in areas such as phobias, fear and panic to name a few. In some cases, I know of persons who experience persistent anxiety and are in need of medication. And wants prescribed by a medical practitioner I will encourage all to take these as directed.

I could recall experiencing high levels of anxieties in my own life. One of the occasions had to do with a final examination. This was a final exam for my Masters of Arts programme. I had studied for this exam for many months. In spite of the evidence, that I had done all I could have done to prepare, still the stress was there. And what made this period so stressful? Well firstly, burning in my mind was whether I was good enough to pass. The fear of failure was crippling at times, even affecting some of my study periods. Secondly, on my brain was the idea of not knowing what to experience on that day. I mean, the areas that questions were to come from, were told to us. Still I felt as though this was not enough. Third, I knew if I had failed, I will have had to pay to write it over. Further, I will have had to wait for another year before I could get this opportunity again. So much was on my mind.

Well, I wrote the exam and passed. But the pounding of my heart and the difficulty sleeping were real. So I know what anxiety can feel like.

In spite of all that is going on around you. Really try to reduce high levels of anxiety. It can affect more than your heart and blood pressure, pushing your body to the edge. Anxiety can affect your sleep and influence moods, eating habits and relationships with others.

Here are three (3) helpful tips to preventing anxiety:
1. Confronting fear.
2. Managing conflicts.
3. Talking with a friend, spouse or accountability partner.

Do you believe there are other methods to prevent anxiety in life?

5 Ways to Prevent Your Kid from Becoming a Back-to-School Tyrant

By Sean Grover

 

 

 

Back to school anxiety can cause some kids to relieve emotional tension by bullying their parents. Here are five ways to reduce that risk.

 

If you have a kid that’s prone to bullying or bossing you around, fasten your seat belts. The end of summer is here, and so are those bedazzling three little words: back-to-school.

Is there another phrase that produces more excitement, dread and mass hysteria in kids? What’s beneath these over-the-top reactions?

Any social situation chockfull of mystery makes kids feel uneasy. The first day of school is teeming with unknowns: “What class will I be in? Will I make new friends? What if everyone hates me?”

When anxiety spikes, many kids start to discharge emotional tension by bullying their parents. As the worrisome day approaches, they may even morph into tiny tyrants. The more vulnerable and self-doubting children and teenagers feel, the more erratic and unstable they can become.

Kids who bully their parents are usually suffering from high levels of emotional stress. As insecurities grow, they have a corrosive effect on their mood, leaving them psychologically fatigued and incapable of self-soothing or controlling their aggressive impulses.

When the first day of school approaches and tension proliferates, kids often look for somewhere to dump their stress. And who is their favorite target? You guessed it, it’s you.

Consider these five steps to preempt back-to-school bullying:

1. Increase exercise

Studies have shown that a cardio workout three times a week reduces anxiety up to 70 percent. If your kid has had a sloth-like summer, get him moving ASAP. The more tension he discharges through exercise, the less he’ll discharge by bullying you.

2. Stabilize sleep schedule

Vampire-like sleep schedules are not uncommon for kids during summer. Your creature of the night will have a serious case of the grumpies when her waking hours have to shift back to the daytime. Do whatever it takes to get your kid back on a consistent sleep schedule a week or two before school starts to avoid the sleep-deprived crazes.

3. Organize the calendar

Structure soothes anxiety. As much as you can, get everything ready: review the class schedule (hanging it in the bedroom is a good idea), take a trip to school, help your kid reconnect with friends and formulate a plan together for the first week—when you’ll eat breakfast, when you’ll head to bed, etc. This kind of scheduling may seem mundane, but creating a framework together will help your kid chill-out when anxiety strikes.

4. Validate concerns

As the first day of school approaches, expect some moodiness and irritability. Maintain your leadership, and don’t become over-reactive or escalate conflicts. Validate your kids concerns by listening and staying positive. Craft your communications to sooth anxieties rather than amplify them.

5. Prepare yourself

You’ve prepared your kid, now prepare yourself. Good childcare requires a heavy dose of self-care. Make sure you’re not suffering from parent burnout. Get enough sleep, see friends that energize you, step out of your parent role and have some fun with your partner. You’ll have more patience, more humor and more flexibility. And remember, with your kids heading back to school, soon you’ll have your life back, too!

Sean Grover, LCSW, author of “When Kids Call the Shots,” is a psychotherapist with more than 20 years experience working with adults and children. To learn what to do when you think your kids are calling the shots, check out Sean’s other article for Parenting: “Do Your Kids Rule the Roost? Here’s How to Regain Control.” You can also follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

©2015 Sean Grover, author of “When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully—and Enjoy Being a Parent Again.”

 

 

Click here for the original article: http://www.parenting.com/child/behavior/5-ways-to-prevent-your-kid-becoming-back-to-school-tyrant?socsrc=ptgfb1508311

Parents are part of the child’s life too!

Children can benefit from the collaborated efforts of parents and school teachers. When parents are not part of the decision making process of education in the classroom, they can feel isolated. It is also critical that feedback on the student’s positive performance be shared with parents and not just negative ones.
This episode of the podcast looks at some practical ways to bridge the gap between parents and teachers.

The driving force

Sometime ago I was speaking to a group of students at a self development program.  The objective was to bring inspiration to them, and so, motivation to achieve whatever they positively set their minds to.

I remembered preparing for the presentation and an interesting question came to my mind.  I asked myself, what is the driving force behind achievement?

I took the word GOAL, and create a mnemonic to help them with this.

On a piece of paper I placed the word GOAL (one letter per line on the page) and then started thinking about it deeply.  What is it in this word GOAL that can make us achieve, focus, and make us successful in the pursuit of our dreams?

As the creative process in my mind went to work, my hands started writing on the sheet of paper.

I then looked at the letter G.  The letter G, stood for get up and get the work done, become actively engaged, get the information necessary to complete this task.  It is by means of initiation, a push or pull action that work gets done.  Remaining stationary is self-defeating when seeking to bring a dream to reality.

The other letter O, reminded me of being organized.  Many times persons may have a vision, know exactly where they need to be or what they need to be doing.

Probably it is an overwhelming action or habit in your life that you want to change or a quality you want to develop.  There is a level of organization that must take place.

Person’s dreams, goals or their purpose may not yet be realized, though they know where they want to be in life, but because of failure at seriously organizing themselves, work may not get done.

Exercise

There are a few electronic programs you can use to get organized. The ones I generally use are: Evernote, Google drive and Google calendar. From time to time I still use a pencil and paper to record an agenda for the day. If you are unfamiliar with the programs or apps (Evernote, Google drive and Google calendar) you can do some research online on them. YouTube has a great deal of information on all of these. Learn how to use them to organize your day, week, and even months. They have great reminders and can sync well with your smart phone and other electronic devices (tablets and laptop computers).

Reflective practice activities

In thinking of our goals and how organization is critical, think about what you need to do.  

  1. Is it that you need to get up earlier to study for a course you are enrolled in?
  2. Is it that you need to prepare your meals for that diet you have embarked on and will need to get your food containers and meals prepared before leaving the house; not leaving it to chance, believing that you will past by a health food store on your way to work?
  3. Or is it that you need to pack your school bag or meeting case the night before, so that the materials needed for that class or meeting is ready to be a part of your success the following day?

 

It is important you ask yourself these questions, as organization is essential for success.  The answers you will obtained from these questions may be viewed as simple and something that people already know, yet reflect on your situation for a moment and you may observe something you do not know.

Reflective practice activities

Questions to ask yourself

  1. If I already have these answers how effective is my organizational skills, given I know what I want to achieve?
  2. Am I using these skills to the full, as a habit, or am I just using them occasionally when I feel stressed or remember to do so?

To be organized, you want to have access to a personal daily planner book (this book should have the feel and comfort that is inviting to you, as well as the pen you use) for recording your plans for that day—actually, using it each day of the week, and yes even on Saturdays and Sundays.

Most persons have these planners but seldom use them correctly or use them at all.

My encouragement to you is to start recording your plans for today and future days, today.  See what you have to do and feel the joys of ticking or crossing them out as they get done.

We live in the technological age.  Do you have a cell phone?  A number of persons today on the planet will say yes to this question.

Interestingly today, cell phones are not only use to communicate with other people, be it verbal or text.  With the use of Windows, Android apps and many other user platforms, games, eBooks, movies, Skype, emails or just surfing the World Wide Web has been made possible.

On a number of these devices, storage capacity is quite enormous.  As such, if you already have in your possession, one of these cell phones or tablet devices, use the digital planning programs they come with (or download one, most of them are free) for creating agendas or plans for the day or for the week.  This may take a few minutes but the outcome will be great.

 

NOTE: When you plan a productive day, the feeling of accomplishment and the knowledge that whatever we are working towards is getting done, is indeed fulfilling.

 

A friend of mine asked me once, after a meeting we had.

“How is it that you get so much done and not be stressed?”

I remember looking at my friend with a gentle smile then a slight chuckle, “Well, from time to time I do get stressed”.

“Oh, really!”

“Yes really, but I am never stressed over what I need to do next or where I need to go.  I just check my calendar of events for that day on my smart phone and off I’m gone.”

“I need to be more like you,” was my friends reply.

I must admit though that at the beginning of my career, this was not something I was accustom doing.

There was this particular week, I remembered having a series of meetings to attend and presentations to prepare for and students course materials I had to mark, trying to remember client’s information.  Not remembering to check the email my boss called and asked me to read and give feedback on.  That was a big problem for me.  This was a challenging week, this was my disorganized week!  So yes, you can say I learnt the hard way but that should not be your experience.  So create the habit of being organized by including tools in your environment to assist, and see yourself moving one step closer to accomplishing what you set your mind too.

So to conclude on this point of organization using electronic devices.  Remember to take note of what you need to get done on your Smartphone/ tablet and sync the information onto all your other electronic devices.  So any one you log onto, the information is there.

Do not be afraid that you may lose your phone or someone will steal it, your information is sync on all of your devices.  If you are still concerned, put a pass word on your phone, tablet or computer, and so if you lose your phone, someone else can not steal your plan for the day!

 

NOTE: Remember that failure to plan is self defeating.  Be organized and achieve your dreams.

Parents are part of the child’s life too!

Children can benefit from the collaborated efforts of parents and school teachers. When parents are not part of the decision making process of education in the classroom, they can feel isolated. It is also critical that feedback on the student’s positive performance be shared with parents and not just negative ones.
This episode of the podcast looks at some practical ways to bridge the gap between parents and teachers.

LIFE WITH EXPECTATIONS

Be as careful of the books you read as of the company you keep, for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the latter.-Paxton Hood

It is no secret that most persons have the desire to start something great in their lives.  But the problem with most persons is that the knowhow to sustain an action that will get them to where they want to go remains a secret.  And so, with the passing of time their goals, dreams or aspirations dwindle into oblivion.

I want you to think of an occasion in your life when you made a decision to make some change.  This can be anything.

Try to recall the oath you made with yourself.  Maybe it was an exercise programme you wanted to implement.  You bought your sports clothing; matching shoes to go with it.  You made a schedule, and even started.

The first day of your exercise programmed was great, and then the second too.  Then the rain fell.  It is wet outside; you shouldn’t go out today, maybe tomorrow, a thought running through your mind.  You acted on it.

Then tomorrow came and you remembered that this was a rest day, so you can’t go out today, no, you shouldn’t, that will be cheating.  Remember the plan, the plan has a rest day built in, you already got thrown off with the rain this week.  Another thought entering your mind.

Before you know it, exercised days become swamped with other activities but exercise. Activities such as TV watching, or going to the movies may become priority. Now do not get me wrong, I’m not saying that anything is bad about these however the time they start occupying, are time originally set aside for exercise.

The gym equipment you purchased at home now becomes a hanger for clothing.  In this case, the plan to live a healthier life style, got side tracked.  A habit of consistent discipline for exercise was not developed.

I know of persons who are planning forever to return to school and finish that degree they started.  The days turned into months and the months into years.  The drive to complete the remaining course then vanished.

What is the course for that?

There can be many reasons.  But failure the stick to a plan of action consistently, speaks to a faulty process of forming the habits to take you where they want to go.

People want to achieve so much in life, too be more spiritual, learn a new language or to develop better friendships or greater wisdom in some area of their lives.

Some persons are able to accomplish so much in life whereas others struggle.

So what may be a significant deciding factor as to why some persons never achieve their dreams?

The answer could be as simple as that, they failed to develop proper habits.

When goals are not attained, most will just give up or frustrate themselves with self blame and doubt. When, what you should be doing is looking at are areas to develop more positive habits. If these habits are developed, the same persons get an intrinsic value that becomes beneficial to them in a significant way.

You see, people tend to be energized when given rewards—intrinsic or extrinsic—for their industriousness.

When we experience successes in life, owed to calculated actions and attention paid to details, we are motivated to repeat the behaviors which made us successful.

It is as though, through a learning process, we pair achievements of our goals with a specific routine.  This routine over time becomes automatic.  These are habits.

Good habits, they bring less pain physically or emotionally, as such, they are then repeated again and again.  The expectation is that we have similar positive responses each time.

If this good feeling is not experienced, or disappointments prevail, one of two positions is taken:

  1. One position might be to give up and no longer chase our dreams.
  2. The other position is to make adjustments to our routines and persevere.

Behaviorist Ivan Pavlov supported this idea of pairing specific action with outcomes.  In his work on, classical conditioning he showed that you can pair two things together that is as though they become one and the same.

Borrowing from this idea, we can see how we can pair together good habits and productivity. In other words, good work habits come to mean productivity and vice versa.

Developing powerful habits can propel plans.  Powerful habits can get you from the point at where you are right now in your life, to where you want to be.

From today, from this point on ward, you are going to succeed.  You may have tried before at various endeavours and experienced some type of setbacks.  But you will overcome, you will achieve greatness.  I therefore say to you, it is possible, and within your reach to accomplish goals you set for yourself.

Your approach to life, your attitude to growth of what is humanly possible for you must change.  After you have read and put these steps into practice, you will not remain the same.  This means that you must continue to be progressive in what you do to make your dreams a reality.

Someone once said that: “Good things come to people who wait, but better things come to those who go out and get them”.  So let nothing prevent you from achieving all that you possibly can.

 

…you could accomplish all you want too, all on your own.

With the world becoming more and more individualistic, achievement is promoted as a lonely process. This kind of thinking is far from the truth. I made mentioned above, that for everything we do, eat, wear for instance, it was made possible because of someone else.

While it is true that your goals, and at least achieving them depends significantly on you, it will be erroneous to think that you can achieve these solo.

Any good student in life knows, that learning takes place by someone showing or by you the student observing. So, even if you look at it in this broad way, you no doubt get the picture that even in the case of observation learning, you need someone else.

Some persons are of the view, that to share their talents, time and wisdom with others will take too much time away from them.  They see what they are working on as too important to stop and lend a hand. So, opting not to assist in coaching others to realize their dreams, they focus on theirs.

Not only is this selfish, but in preventing someone else, or maybe not preventing but not contributing to the success of others, they may be inadvertently preventing their true success.

On the one hand, when we stopped to assist others we develop qualities such as love and compassion.

Imagine if a mother was working and being a better appearance but failed to assist another who probably was younger at parenting. This person would have missed valuable lessons which can actually make her better at parenting.

Think for a moment an entrepreneur, who was so focus on developing a personal brand and did not assisting another to develop theirs, can actually sully a relationship which could have developed. This is so as many businesses depend on collaboration and networking to survive in today’s competitive markets.

Then there are others who are very much skeptical, believing that if they share their ideas with others, they will be stolen. While it is true that there are some who can be very unscrupulous, sharing ideas of persons puts you in a good position to receive feedback.

To make any product better feedback is important. To know if you are working on yourself, and becoming a better person, feedback is also important. So the idea here is to put yourself or your dreams before others to examine. The positive critique you receive will be very valuable on your way forward.

For other, they feel that if they ask for assistance, they will be viewed as weak.  And this is a major problem.

A person venturing out into something new will make mistakes. They will not have all the answers and so they will be vulnerable. But vulnerability should not be seen as a problem; at least it should not be looked at as one. Again, this provides an opportunity to receive feedback and produce something of greater value.

 

From: 6 Powerful Habits For Success: Achieve Your Goals, Live That Dream And Add More Meaning To Your Life.

Copyright © 2017 Allick Delancy

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